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| Valuable Relationship
Sites & Books |
SITES TO VISIT
www.smartmarriages.com - Coalition for
Marriage, Family & Couples Education,
Wash., D.C. THE best national link for couples
-- lists all current marriage and couple programs,
with dates and locations of seminars &
training, and has links to specific program
sites for all ages.
www.prepinc.com
- PREP (Prevention & Relationship Enhancement
from Univ. of Denver, CO). Widely adopted
by churches and the military as straight-forward,
gender-balanced, readily teachable and learnable.
Site lists PREP workshops around the nation.
www.gottman.com
- The Gottman Institute, Seattle. WA. lists
couples weekend seminars in Seattle and the
Northwest region, based on the research of
Dr. John Gottman, University of Washington.
The Institute has also begun offering weekend
seminars specifically for gay and lesbian
couples.
www.retrouvaille.org
- Peer-led ministry of couples who have “been
to the brink” and come back. The Intensive
weekend has saved many distressed marriages.
Great Falls, Billings. and Spokane all have
active weekend programs. Retrouvaille is Catholic
in origin but open to all couples.
BOOKS TO READ
12 Hours to a Great Marriage : A Step by Step Guide to Making Love Last, Howard
Markman, Scott Stanley, et al, 2004.
(A good handbook
on how to stop conflicts and arguments, and
start loving again. Good on gender differences
and intimacy as well -- especially from the
man's point of view. The basis of the One-Day
seminar offered by the Marriage Works! Learning
Center.) There are also editions for "Empty
Nest" Couples, new parents, and Christian
couples (A Lasting Promise.)
Why Marriages
Succeed or Fail, & How You Can Make Yours
Last, John M. Gottman, 1997.
The
Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,
John Gottman, 1999.
(Two
new books about why marriages get into trouble
and distress, even when the couple starts
out "in love", and what to do about
it. Men will like Gottman's straightforward,
organized approach. Based on years of research
with actual couples at the University of Washington's
"Love Lab". Read one of these books
together…it can get you talking again,
and help you replace bad habits with positive
practices.)
The
Truth About Love, Pat Love, 2001
The newest
book out that de-mystifies attraction and
infatuation. Pat Love explains how to
develop and strengthen the attachment bond
that marriage requires. Chapters on Defining
Love, Clarifying Roles, Building Trust, Expanding
Commitment and Deepening the Connection are
helpful for couples at any stage of a relationship.
Saving Your
Marriage Before It Starts, Les and
Leslie Parrott, 1995.
Especially
for those young couples thinking about marriage…A
great gift for young adult
children. The basis of premarriage education
courses at a growing number of colleges and
universities.
Love
Life for Parents: How to Have Kids and a Sex
Life Too. David and Claudia Arp. 1998.
Zondervan (HarperCollins)
(One
of the most straightforward and helpful books
for parents of
young children; written by a couple who managed
to stay connected even with three kids to
raise. Humorous and delightful, and full of
practical tips.)
Becoming
Parents: How to Strengthen Your Marriage as
Your Family Grows. Pam Jordan, Scott
Stanley, & Howard Markman, 1999.
(A good handbook
on how to stop conflicts and arguments, and
start loving again, written especially for
couples beginning a family. Good on gender
differences and intimacy as well -- especially
from the man's point of view. )
Fighting
for Your Empty Nest Marriage, David
& Claudia Arp, with Scott Stanley, Howard
Markman,
Susan Blumberg, 2000.
The
first book for couples at mid-life, mid-marriage
and beyond, with clear-cut instructions for
dealing with the transition period when children
are leaving home. This is a warm and helpful
guide for learning to let go of the kids,
grievances and expectations, and preserving
commitment, love, partnership, sensuality
and fun within your marriage
Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together
in a World that Pulls Us Apart. Bill
Doherty, 2001.
A book for
building your priorities as a team, and becoming
intentional about your marriage. Great ideas
for rituals to build connection and intimacy.
The Love List:
Eight Little Things That Make A Big Difference
in Your Marriage. Les and Leslie Parrott,
2002.
This is the
book I’ve been waiting for: it identifies
the two positive, relationship-enhancing actions
you can do each day, each week, each month
and each year to keep your relationship healthy.
It’s the one book I give as a wedding
gift, and recommend to those who have taken
a class and want to keep their marriage growing.
There’s a modest amount of religious
reference, but couples will find it a goldmine
of solid advice.
After the Affair:
Healing the Pain & Rebuilding Trust When
a Partner Has Been Unfaithful. Janis
Spring with Michael Spring, 1996.
After the Affair
explains to both partners how they can work
through the shattering experience of infidelity,
repair the damage and recover as a couple.
Spring provides specific strategies to answer
questions everyone asks: “Why did this
affair happen? Can we survive, and get love
and trust back? What is forgiveness, and how
is it possible? How do we become sexually
intimate again?”
Not Just Friends:
Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity
and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal. Shirley
Glass, 2003.
This new book
addresses the growing problem of affairs happening
in good, functional marriages, often because
of the Internet or workplace encounters. Glass
includes emotional involvement that violates
commitment, even without physical intimacy.
She provides a step-by-step guide through
the stages of suspiciousness, revelation and
healing, and is especially helpful in describing
the importance of building walls to protect
the relationship, and opening windows into
each other’s souls.
The Essential
Humility of Marriage. Terry Hargrave,
2000.
Challenging
popular notions about what goes wrong in bad
marriages, Hargrave suggests that in strong
marriages there is an "us" that
takes precedence over the individual partners,
and he shows couples how to support this third
identity - the marriage. |
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| Marriage Works! Learning
Center - 415 N. Higgins - Missoula, Montana 59802
- 406.543.9491 |
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